If ever there was a time to seize the day, it would be now. Carpe Diem. With Covid-19 rapidly spreading across the planet, much of the world has been ordered to stay at home. All events, social gatherings, sports, concerts, and anything with more than 10 people has been stopped to help “flatten the curve” of the spread of Covid-19. And therefore, the excuses that I used to make whether consciously or subconsciously about why I was not socially reaching out to my friends both past and present, have now all been taken away.
For me, some time would pass that I would not contact my friend(s) and after a while, when I would think about that friend, I would feel embarrassed that I had allowed so much time to pass without reaching out. Oftentimes, the embarrassment would stop me from contacting them which would then allow the passing of time to grow greater. Of course, there is social media: Facebook, TikTok, Snapchat, Line, Whatsapp...etc. But even with those platforms, that friend you’ve lost personal contact with shows up in your feed every once in a while. It is a very impersonal way to stay informed. It does not strengthen a friendship just to know about what is happening in someone’s life when they choose to inform the “world”. What is personal, meaningful, and will last through thick and thin are the relationships where you talk to one another. Reading this far, you may have said to yourself that relationships are two way streets. And you are completely correct. A good relationship will not survive very long or be very strong if it is one sided. One person always being the person to reach out to the other or that one person always giving will eventually wear that person down and they will feel used, unimportant, and/or tired. If that one person does not have reciprocation in the friendship, they will need to ask themselves if the juice is worth the squeeze? I think of juicing an orange when I use that analogy. It takes quite a bit of work to get juice out of an orange. The juice will oftentimes taste much better than that from a bottle or concentrate but what you get out of a single orange is very little. So, it takes multiple oranges which makes the work compound to get a good glass of orange juice. Is the work worth the outcome? Or would it be better to just get the OJ from someplace easier? A relationship worth pursuing has to be juice worth the squeeze. There has to be an equal or better benefit for someone to put in the work. I am not responsible for the actions of others. I can only be held accountable for my personal actions. I cannot control the actions of these friends I have lost contact with. I can however reach back out to them no matter how much time has passed and attempt to rekindle a friendship with them. I’ve looked at my life a lot in the last few years and thought about the fact that I have had some really great friends around and in my life. But I have had a lot of great friends over my lifetime that I have fallen away from for whatever rhyme or reason. And when I truly look at my life without them, it brings me sadness to know that they are no longer a part of my life. I am not sure that I have ever taken such an active role in attempting to regain those relationships as I am now. I don’t believe that on my deathbed I would look back at my life and wish I wasn’t a part of my friend’s lives. I don’t believe I would think “man, I wish I could have done more things on my own”. I think, if anything, my regret would be not having the moments, impact, and significance in the lives of those I care about when I had the chance. So this is the challenge I am putting out there to all you as well as to myself. Carpe Diem. Seize this day. Do not let another day pass without reaching out to those friends you have lost contact with. Decide if the juice is worth the squeeze. If it is, let nothing stand in your way. Because situations like what we have in front of us do not happen every day. Covid-19 is a once in a lifetime situation. Life will only get busier again as time goes on. Understand that if it is still a "not now" mentality, you are likely choosing never.
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June 2021
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