Waking up this morning, I decided to take some time and spend my first moments with God as part of a challenge my pastor gave to the church yesterday. And when I first opened my eyes, I was struck by a massive headache that discontinued any idea or thought of doing anything but taking some Tylenol and getting back into bed to close my eyes. But it was in the midst of that, that I felt God really showed up and showed me more of Himself. Let me explain:
As I mentioned, I woke up with a headache this morning. I had spent a lot of time on the computer the day and night before writing papers for my graduate program classes. Hours and hours of screen time that I believe in the end was probably just too much and today I woke up suffering for it all. So, I crawled out of bed, grabbed some Tylenol and water, and then crawled back into bed. Shortly after, I heard my 3-year-old son at my door asking to come in. Not wanting to move, but knowing that his momma was already out of the house this morning, I reluctantly got up and let him in. First thing out of his mouth was that he wanted his routine cup of milk and protein shake that he drinks every morning. Barely able to stand upright because of the pounding in my head and blind as a bat because I didn’t bother to put my glasses on, I stumbled around the kitchen to get everything prepared for him, handed it to him and put on a show for him to watch as I once again tried to make my way back to bed. And then I heard him again come into my room. And this is what he said…”Daddy? I want to snuggle with you.” Pulling him up into the bed, he brought his little security blanket with him and wanted to get under the covers with me snuggling up close and into my body heat. And as any three year old toddler is, my son is probably more hyper than the average kid so his usual demeanor would be to bouncing on the bed and kicking me as he twists and turn under the sheets until I finally get out of bed. But today was different. He came in, settled close, and was still. He put his arm over top of my shoulders and just lay next to me. Opening my eyes and looking at him with one eye over the curvature of the pillow, I saw him settled and looking away but just content where he was. When he looked up at me, the one eye I could see squinted as I knew he smiled seeing me watch him and he looked away and then back at my eye to continue to watch me. We laid there for a good few minutes just looking at each other and enjoying our time to snuggle. There was no talking, no extra movements, and honestly just a peace that as I think on it now still amazes me. Thinking back on our few moments this morning, I realized that God wants that type of relationship with each of us. He wants us to come and spend time with Him. To snuggle up close and just, be. When my son came to me, he had a few needs that I provided for him because I am his father and I know his needs. But then once those immediate needs were met, although he could have gone and watched his favorite show on Amazon or Netflix, he decided he wanted to spend time with his daddy. So, he sought me out. How many of us only go to God when we need something, and when those needs or wants are fulfilled, we go back to the other things in life that will take our focus off of Him? Are we taking time to seek out our Father in heaven just to be in His presence? And how many of us think through a list of exclusions and excuses as to why we have not spent time with our Daddy? I am not awake enough, I have not asked for forgiveness for…, I don’t know what to say, etc. As my son crawled into my bed and was getting under the covers, I could smell his wet pullup that he was still wearing from the night. I knew he was “dirty” and trying to snuggle up next to me with his dirty diaper still on. But did that make me love him any less? Of course not! I was just in love with the fact that he would want to come snuggle with me. And I knew that I would get up and change him out of the pullup soon. But for now, I just wanted to spend some of our first moments this morning with him. Do you think that because we have chosen to sin that God will not receive us and hold close to us until he has changed our metaphorical diaper? Until he has removed the unclean? I don’t believe that this is the type of love that the Bible uses to describe God. As I conclude this post for now, I will continue to ponder on the message and talk to God about our relationship. I would encourage each of you reading this to do the same. Take a look at your relationship with God. When is the last time that you took time to just be in His presence? Don’t worry about the dirty laundry you have. Don’t worry about how you are presenting. Just go to God and be, with Him. Seek Him out. No agenda, no ask, just be. A song on my mind this morning that I encourage you all to listen to is Dear God by Cory Asbury. Go read through the lyrics. Enjoy and reflect on where you are this morning. Go be, with God.
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June 2021
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